


Trauma

by hurricxneamelia



Series: Five of Six: Snippets of K Howard [2]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 21:18:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18786400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricxneamelia/pseuds/hurricxneamelia
Summary: Katherine blinked a few times, sorting through the haze of her mind as she reoriented herself to her surroundings. A quick glance at the clock told her she’d been home around an hour and a half. “I-” Katherine stopped unsure of where this was headed.Her adverse reaction to seeing him made it impossible to lie, “That guy you were talking to was Henry.”“Yeah? I told you that?” Anne raised a brow unsure of what point the female was attempting to make.“No, that was Henry. The Henry I used to be married to.”





	Trauma

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, the last one really didn't into the psychological aspect of everything like this one will, so same warnings of sexual abuse mentions apply to this one. Stay safe, loves. I also recommend reading the first one shot in this series before this one if you haven't since it sets up the verse generally.

Trauma comes in all forms. Often times it’s an immediate, blinding flash. Other times, it’s a pervasive, rotting sensation that eats away from the inside out, even when it goes unrecognized. Once its host acknowledges the trauma, it worms itself from the subconscious psyche into the conscious mind where it preys without hesitation. Trauma is also very much like fishing, it has to be baited, but once any kind of bait is thrown, it latches on hard. 

Katherine Howard learned that the difficult way. After she finally forced herself to recognize the trauma of her sexual abuse, it hit her hard. The years of repression hit her hard. She finally realized that each time her brain went into autopilot, when near everytime she was in bed with somebody that it her brain’s way of protecting her. She’d been trying and improving at not doing that with Anna though.

She learned that her body stiffening when someone grabbed her wrists tightly wasn’t an instinctual response, and that when she lost time and felt unattached in some intimate moments or after a trigger, she was dissociating. She learned that when she thought about what happened, which after her realization she found herself doing often, that the anxiety she felt wasn’t just embarrassment about how her past relationships ended, it was her reaction to the trauma. Of course, like every psychological trauma, it was fickle. Katherine didn’t know for sure if or when any of it would happen or to what extent, but she tried to identify triggers as she went.

Only Anna knew the full story of Katherine’s trauma, as she’d been instrumental in helping Katherine realize and accept what had happened to her. Parr, Aragon, Jane, nor Anne knew anything definitively. She assumed there were suspicions as she’d mentioned her marriage being one full of toxicity, but she’d never made any specifications. Thankfully, none of them pushed for details. They seemed to pick up on the dodgy attitude Katherine displayed when someone brought him up, or any of them for that matter. 

That’s part of the reason the young woman felt so at ease among her new friend group. They respected her and her boundaries. Each one of them was also fun to be around. Admittedly, Anne was one of her favorite people to go out and let loose with. She and Anna knew how to have a good time, so when Boleyn asked her out for drinks, Katherine had no objections. 

“I’ll have a vodka soda,” Anne ordered as she at down at the bar.

“Cuba Libre for me, please,” Katherine ordered. 

The bartender nodded with some small phrase signifying their ordered drinks would be right up. Anne shifted in her seat so she could face Katherine, “Okay, there are plenty of attractive people in this bar tonight so that means you’re going to have to be my wingwoman. It’s been forever since I’ve seen anyone.” 

Katherine raised an eyebrow, “What about the girl you had over a few weeks ago?” 

“That was a one night thing and we both knew that going into it, and how did you know that?”

“Don’t be naive, I basically live with Anna who you share an apartment with, the walls aren’t exactly thick and someone was being loud” 

Boleyn’s face flushed a light pink, “For the record, I wasn’t the loud one that time, and you and Anna aren’t always the most quiet. Anyway, you’re helping me get someone’s number tonight.” 

Katherine smiled a small chuckle escaping her lips, “Anna and I don’t try to deny having sex with each other,” she teased nodding in thanks as the bartender put their drinks down in front of them. “Do you see anyone you think is cute already or are we waiting for someone to come in?” she raised an eyebrow at her friend lifting the drink in front of her to her mouth to take a sip. 

Anne surveyed the room with a thoughtful look on her face before turning back to answer the younger brunette’s question, “What about that girl across the bar or that guy in that corner booth?” 

Katherine followed Anne’s line of sight to the two different people in question, “Not the guy, someone was sitting with him when we came in, it could have been his date. The girl maybe, she’s cute, but watch and see if anyone meets her. It’d awkward if she already has a date or a friend with her.” 

“That is true, but otherwise there’s nobody else here I’d be interested in.” 

“It’s not the end of the world to not find a date.”

“I swear you and Anna are the same people. She says the same thing.”

“Maybe that’s why we work so well together.” 

“Because you both want me to settle to be single for the rest of my life?” 

Katherine rolled her eyes, “Yes, that’s totally why,” she deadpanned before continuing, “but really, because we’re similar. You know opposites attract is complete bullshit according to psychology? At least in a long term sense.”

“So my goal is to pick up someone similar to me?” Boleyn asked teasingly. 

Katherine shook her head an amused smile crossing her face, “If that’s what you took from that then yes.” 

The brunette glanced over at the girl she’d considered earlier, who was still alone. “I’m going to talk to her.”  
“Go for it.”

Anne nodded standing up and striding over to the girl across the bar. Katherine watched with mild interest as her charismatic friend struck up a conversation with the blonde. It almost reminded her of how she’d originally met Anna. That night of all stood out as one of the best in her life, not because the night itself had been that eventful, but because she met Anna, who was turning out to be one of the best things in her life. She felt safe with Anna and she thought that her relationship had to be what love felt like.

Through Anna she’d also met a wonderful group of women who seemed to have an endless amount of love and respect for each other. This was a first for Katherine. She hadn’t had many close, trusted friends growing up. Of course she understood there was a certain amount of adolescent pettiness and immaturity to take into consideration, but looking back, whether or not that was the only factor in the more questionable moments was debatable. Regardless, Katherine now had five other women she could count on, each one incredibly different but all so supportive. 

Katherine Aragon was the most uptight of the group, meaning she had striking penchant for formality and certain traditions. Anne was the wildest of the group, arguably. She was always the first to want to have fun, but she was also fiercely protective. Jane on the other hand was the calmest and most settled. She had a two year old son and in consequence, mothered her friends in a way. Of course she had Catherine Parr she’d met in university. Boleyn liked to joke that Parr was the walking dictionary of the group since she was in law school working toward becoming a civic law attorney and seemed to have an endless host of facts at her disposal. 

Then there was Anna who constantly showed how much she sincerely cared for Katherine in everything. There were nights Katherine lay awake wondering how she’d been so lucky to meet such a woman. 

A tap on her arm pulled her out of her reverie. Anne retook her seat shaking her head. “A no go?” Katherine asked sympathetically. 

“Yeah. She’s straight, so definitely, said she was flattered but that’s all the came of it.” 

“Oh, that sucks,” she grimaced. 

Anne nodded raising her brow before taking a long drink of the beverage in front of her. “It’s too bad. No one else here is particularly cute, so unless some miracle person walks in, then I probably won’t find get anyone’s number.” 

Katherine shook her head, “Yeah, and you’ll live, but while you’re anticipating someone, tell me about that new project you and Anna were working on. She mentioned it earlier and I’m curious about it.” 

“Oh, that. We ended up getting contacted to work on and do some choreography for a dance video,” Anne smiled. 

“With any big names?”

“Don’t know yet, but I hope so.” 

Katherine nodded, “Hey I’ll be back,” she said standing up and starting to head toward the restrooms. Anne nodded before picking up her phone and scrolling through notifications. Only moments after Katherine left the bar, Anne felt a tap on her shoulder. Glancing over, a mid height man with sandy blonde hair and a square face. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. 

Anne smiled, “Please.” Maybe she would be lucky and pick someone up after all. 

After Katherine left the restroom she ended up standing in the little hall that led back into the main bar to respond to a few texts. She slipped her phone into her pocket and as she rounded the corner her eyes searching for her friend, something was out of place.

Anne still sat at the bar where she’d left her, but beside her sat a man that sent chills down her spine. Henry Tudor. She hadn’t thought his name in a while, and instinctually her body tensed. Why was here here? And talking to her friend? She’d never shown any of them a picture of Henry, so logistically, it wasn’t implausible, but the odds that it was happening were very high and very obviously not in her favor. He had been angry the last contact they’d had, and Katherine sincerely believed had they not been in a lawyers office he would have screamed at her until he was blue in the face. During their marriage his temper had been insufferable, and once he caught her in bed with Thomas, it had only amplified. 

Sooner or later, she’d have to walk back to her seat or Anne would eventually notice how long she was gone and start to worry. The brunette took a deep breath leveling her head before she forced her legs to begin to move. Suddenly she regretted wearing a short dress with a low back. It didn’t cling to her body nor was its neckline particularly low, and it was long sleeved, but imagining Henry’s prying angry eyes staring at her again made her wish she wore a sweater and sweatpants. 

By her side, she clenched one hand into a tight fist allowing her nails to dig into her palm. As she approached Henry and Anne, every muscle in her body told her to run or turn away. All too soon his eyes landed on her. 

Anne turned her head, a grin sitting upon her painted lips, “Kat, this is Henry.” Neither Henry nor Katherine moved to do anything. He only stared at Katherine an unreadable expression dancing in his eyes. “What? Do you two know each other?” Anne asked. 

Katherine opened her mouth to respond but she recognized a flash of anger in his eyes and shut her mouth immediately. She glanced at Anne, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal. I’m going to get out of here for now. Just remember to come by my apartment to get the coat you left there.” 

Anne furrowed her brow in confusion as Katherine started to slip past her. She hadn’t left a jacket at her place, and Katherine hardly stayed in her own apartment. She reached out to catch one of Katherine’s wrists to ask if she was okay, but the minute her hand closed around her wrist, the other woman began to try to wriggle it free. “You okay?” Anne asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah. Can you let go?” she asked clenching the other hand which had been in a fist at her side even harder. Anne nodded still concerned for her friend as she let go of her wrist and watched her leave. She turned back to Henry who flashed her a smile, but something about it behind his eyes was unreadable. 

\---- 

Katherine waited anxiously for Anne to get back to the apartment. She hadn’t told Anna everything that had happened, but that she was upset and wanted some space to cool off. She sat on the couch staring blankly ahead at the wall shaking her leg, an anxious tick she developed over the years.  
At first seeing Henry scared her for his anger, then she started thinking about Henry Maddox and Francis Dereem and Thomas. Anne unknowingly grabbing and holding her wrist against her will hadn’t helped. That and seeing his face made her think of them and the experiences she’d repressed for years. By the time she arrived home and offered a vague explanation to Anna, an anxious feeling had started to build in her stomach. 

Now, it was as if she were watching above her body and feeling everything second hand. It felt like an eternity and simultaneously only seconds she stared ahead shaking her leg. 

She hardly registered it when the door opened and the sofa sank beside her. “What happened?” Came Anne’s voice through her haze. 

Katherine blinked a few times, sorting through the haze of her mind as she reoriented herself to her surroundings. A quick glance at the clock told her she’d been home around an hour and a half. “I-” Katherine stopped unsure of where this was headed.  
Her adverse reaction to seeing him made it impossible to lie, “That guy you were talking to was Henry.” 

“Yeah? I told you that?” Anne raised a brow unsure of what point the female was attempting to make.

“No, that was Henry. The Henry I used to be married to.” 

“Oh… is that why you were so freaked out?” 

“Yeah, partially.” 

“How did you guys end things?” 

Katherine glanced wearily at the woman sitting beside her, “One of his friends came onto me and he caught us.” 

“So, you cheated?” Boleyn asked before she could stop herself.

“Yes, but I didn’t want to. He just, came onto me and I felt like I couldn’t say no.” 

Anne bit down on her lip harshly, regretting her previous words, “So he….” 

Katherine nodded, “Yeah, and Henry, he has one of the worst tempers I’ve ever encountered. I won’t go into excruciating detail about him, our marriage, or anything else in the past, but seeing him freaked me out. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.” 

“Did Henry ever, you know?” 

“No, but he did... abuse me, sexually. It was…. I”m not sure how to describe what it was, other than bad,” Katherine shook her head now fidgeting with a bracelet on her wrist. Her heart beat as if it were trying to beat straight out of her chest. 

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry,” Anne frowned, wishing she knew what to say or do to help a clearly anxious Katherine. 

“I know, and it’s fine. Anna is the only one who does.”

Anne nodded letting a heavy silence fall onto the room. Everyone assumed Henry and Katherine had ended on rough terms, but aside from Anna apparently, no one knew the truth. Well now she did, but only because some cruel twist of fate had placed the pair in the same bar which Henry would chose to go to. 

“Just don’t see him again. He’s horrible, and you deserve someone so much better,” Katherine broke the silence examining the minute lacerations on her palms from her nails. 

Anne looked over at the younger woman, frowning upon noticing the torn up skin in her palms, “I won’t, I promise.”

“Good.”

“You should get some rest. Anxiety is tiring,” Anne said sympathetically. 

“Probably, Goodnight” the other nodded with a small smile forcing herself to stand and begin to move toward Anna’s and her bedroom where her girlfriend was most likely already asleep. 

“Sleep well, and thank you.” 

“Thank you?” Katherine questioned. 

“Thank you for telling me what happened and trusting me. It means a lot.” 

Katherine smiled again this time it seemed genuine albeit small and tired, “Thank you for listening.” 

The younger brunette escaped into the bedroom only bothering to slip her dress off over her head and grab one of Anna’s hoodies off of a chair before getting into bed. She didn’t have the energy to take a shower or any of her actual night routine. 

The movement of the bed extracted a groan from a previously asleep Cleves, “Mmm, you feelin better?” she groggily asked lazily lifting an arm to loop around Katherine’s waist. 

Her partner just curled into her tightly, “I guess, but I’m tired and just don’t wanna talk about it right now. Can we sleep?” 

“Yeah, fine with me. Can I at least kiss you night’?” Anna asked still not bothering to further rouse herself seeing as Katherine didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Mhm,” Katherine responded. Anna took a second to find Katherine’s lips in the dark before she mumbled a final goodnight and fell back into a hard sleep. 

The brunette took a deep breath as she let the all encompassing fatigue take over her bones, she really did need to sleep. Trauma took a lot out of a person.


End file.
